Not-So-Cheap Monday

I had no idea that Cheap Monday has so much non-jeans stuff! It seems like here in the U.S. and/or/Of A. we mainly just get jeans. Unfortunately, most of the awesome accessories and stuff are on Swedish site Caliroots (a misnomer if ever there was one), which is actually quite cheap due to the krona-to-USD exchange rate AND Cheap Monday's rad mission to keep their stuff, well, cheap... But... the freaking VAT and shipping is OFF. THE. CHARTS.

Some of the super-cute stuff I wanted:

($14, Cheap Monday, Caliroots.com)

Awesome. Was gonna get one for my sister, who's obsessed with giant squids (this is an octopus, but who's counting?) and one for myself.

($7, Cheap Monday, Caliroots.com)

Seven bucks! What the hull?

I excitedly added two of scarf #1 and some cute $7 skull socks to my cart. The total came to $39 USD. But with $55 shipping (!!!!?!!??!?!?), VAT, and God knows what the fuck else -- tax on being awesome or something? -- the total came to $85 USD. Um, nah brah.


I'll stick with this cute Easter egg-colored scarf instead:

($23, Cheap Monday, Activeendeavors.com)

And here's some horrifying Cheap Monday stuff that, even though I've never worn nor owned, causes me to shudder with morning-after regret:

($28 USD, Cheap Monday, Caliroots.com)

"Kids, when I say 4:30 outside of the Orange Julius, I MEAN 4:30 and not a minute later."

($135, Cheap Monday, ActiveEndeavors.com)

"And after I finished going down on that Guns N Roses roadie, he told me I was pretty! He's so dreamy!" WTF? And why are these NOT $65?

($28, Cheap Monday, Caliroots.com)

"And after that skanky groupie was done giving me head, I told her she was hot. Can you believe that shit?"

($28, Cheap Monday, Caliroots.com)

"OMG. I can't believe Gerard Way looked sort of somewhere near me but almost at me from the stage! OMG! Best My Chem show EVER!"

DO Rejoice In This Treasure Trove of Fashion Mortses

The other week, I'd read about Glamour mag going all Web 2.0 apeshit and opening the floodgates of fashion don'ts to we hungry masses, equipped with digital cameras and an appetite for capturing our city's, town's, street's or even apartment building's elevator's most unsuspecting fashion criminals caught in the act of exercising a total lack of good style or even sense. Then today I read that apparently not everyone understood the whole "unsuspecting" part, and the drama has ensued!

If you're too lazy to click the link (and believe me, I know where you're coming from), here's the deal: Glamour's backpage do's and don'ts section -- arguably the mag's best feature -- features snaps of horrif fashion mortses. They've been showcasing the worst of the worst skintight see-through white pants, wedgies, camel toes, sandals with socks, mom jeans and that sort of thing for years. But, they have the decency to black bar the eyes of the assholes they shoot. Anyway, Glamz decided to empower their online readers with the authority to DIY it. Um, except without the black bars. Or the discretion. Ooopsies. Can we say "Bad Idea Jeans"?

What ensued? Images of totally recognizable peeps (well, if you live below 14th Street), pictures that clearly serve no purpose but to poke fun of the morbidly obese (anyone remember fatchicksinpartyhats.com?) and other doctored or inappropriate images from the annals of the Intertronz. Basically, prepare to see A LOT of butts. Flat butts, half butts, entire ones, black butts, white butts, old and jiggly butts, and even cigarette butts. Oh, and anorexics. And other eating disorders. Also, from those who clearly didn't understand the assignment, you'll also get vacation shots ("In the Bahamas" -- ?!?!?!??) and shots that label the obvious ("Scarf"). Um, thanks.

Kids, we gave you a privilege and you took advantage of it! For SHAME! Yes, I realize the irony and contradiction of us waging a finger at Glamour and its abusers since we ourselves have done what some might argue to be the very same thing. But DAMN IT! Our street fashion mortses are a.) usually discreet; b.) not targeted toward the obese, crazy people, innocent families, kids or super old people (though I will say it's pretty funny when Vice does it); and c.) cooler because we're funny. (Plus, believe me, there are pictures out there of me wearing some questionable fashions, though I prefer to think of them as party costumes or "ensembles," to borrow one from Mimi.

Anyway, here are a few gems...


Requisite white pants shot. Zzzzz.

See? Yukky butts! Toldja!

Uh, this was under the "Cute" category. Where is this considered cute? Bizarroland? Hell? Seattle??

Ok. I'm not gonna lie. This is pretty great.

Ostensibly this girl uploaded this pic of herself as a "Do." Or maybe her friend did. As a cruel, cruel joke.

THIS IS JUST A FUCKIN' GUY LAYING DOWN!!!!!!

Grrrr.

It's not even right to make fun of someone so lacking in judgement and reason. It's like kicking the family dog.

I mean... Seriously. OBVIOUSLY this is not a STREET shot. Did this girl get fucked with after falling asleep at a slumber party?

Well, at least someone got the memo.