Monday Mortses!

A few selects to start your week off right... by encouraging you to gouge your eyeballs out of their sockets!

(Apprx $163, Topshop)

I mean... that's just... a lot of patent. Red patent, no less. No really... there should be less of this.

(Apprx $132, Topshop)

Ooh! The Chewbacca look = HUGE for Fall 07. Honestly, the only thing worse than real fur is horrendously cheap-looking acrylic fur. Can you even fathom how ratty this thing would look at like 4AM Sunday morning after a smoky pub crawl? Classy!

($51, Lip Service, Sourpussclothing.com)
Speaking of classy...

($26, Asos.com)
Oh, Sienna. What have you done?

(Adidas)

Mmm. Nothing says "sexy" like tight elastic bands squeezing the most universally flattering part of every woman's thighs! Add in some cargo pockets to highlight the sausage-casing effect, and it doesn't really get much sexier than this, ladies!

JACKETS: PART 2: Everybody In Great Grey Coats!

A follow-up post to my grey coats post, part I from the other day, in descending order of prostitution location.


Turnin' Tricks At Soho House:

(Apprx $1248 USD, Alexander Wang, Brownsfashion.com)

Via Catwalkqueen. This coat by Alexander Wang, who is fucking everywhere right now is a work of art. I wouldn't know whether to wear it (and risk dripping coffee on it, as I so inevitably do on the walk to the train at least two out of five mornings a week) or have it mounted and framed and hang it above my bed.

Turnin' Tricks At The Time:

($594, 3.1 Phillip Lim, Bleuclothing.com)

Also a thing of pristine beauty, although nowhere near as gorgeous as the Alexander Wang jacket. It could be winter forever if I had that to keep me warm.


Turnin' Tricks At The Hotel On Rivington:

($232, Plastic Island, Blondette.com)

So simple and little girl chic without being too barfy cutesy pie.


Turnin' Tricks At The Times Square Hilton:

($139, Asos.com)

I absolutely love this jacket, both because and despite the fact that it's named for my favorite trashionista namesake, Lindsay Lohan. And it's waaaaay cheaper than a Mike & Chris, which it totes looks like.



Turnin' Tricks In A Port Authority Bathroom:

($68, Roxy, Tillys.com)

Roxy would usually never be my thing, but this plaid grey coat is too cute. Tillys and Roxy -- who knew?

JACKETS: PART 1: Everybody In Great Grey Coats!

I'm covered (I wish, literally) in coat choices for what I PRAY is any impending cold weather.
This is my top pick:

($655, Robert Rodriguez, Active Endeavors)
Pristine, though at $655, it's no steal.




($640, Rick Owens Lilies, Net-a-porter.com)
... Or save yourself $15 and go for this amazingly chic yet comfy-looking Rick Owens Lilies wrap. I wanna snuggle up into it and hibernate 'til this God-awful humidity passes.



So... some more eco(-nomically)-friendly options:


($343, French Connection, Asos)
Very Sgt. Pepper's chic.




($308, Mike & Chris, Revolveclothing.com)
Ahhh... Mike & Chris. I'd make some lame fratty joke about the two men I'd most like to be between, but a.) that's lame, b.) I'm too tired to think and c.) Chris actually stands for Christine.



($145, Chan Chan, Asos)
Totally the type of trench you'd wear nothing under. If you're that type of trench-wearer.



($148, Free People, Urban Outfitters)
Highly cute.


(Apprx $170 USD, Topshop)
The Jackie O. look isn't me, but this is still darling.



($319, Walter, Saks Fifth Avenue)
Very uptown.


($49, Max Azen, Modcloth.com)
Vintage, very back-to-basics staple.


($36, Coffee Shop, Nordstrom)
Adorable twist on a standard trench, and the PRICE! Eeee!




($38, Forever 21)
Awesome Mike & Chris knock off!!



($29, Old Navy)
Finally... so no one will mistake this for the Robert Rodriguez version, but it's still really cute.