SKINNY JEANS ARE NOT DEAD... But We're Making Room ...

I truly believe that skinny jeans are here to stay. As MK and I discussed the other night, they're merely a TYPE of jean, not a trend. And the right pair (case in point, the grey Zara jeans I've been wearing for about three years now, 98% because I love them and 2% because of their Xtreme Vanity Sizing -- they're like 8 sizes smaller than I actually am. Win/win!) can truly slim you down if they're not obscenely tight -- though, I will admit, despite the fact that I am short and curvy, my legs -- while far from toothpicks -- are pretty proportional, and I don't have a ton of thigh-age, so that does help with being able to pull them off. And either I'm rolling, completely delusional or a combo of both, but I'm convinced they don't make me look shorter than my 5 feet + 2 inches. Your mileage, of course, may vary.

So, as much as I love skinny jeans, let's diversify, people. A girl does need SOME non-constricting jeans in her Ikea wardrobe. (Erps, that'd be me. Stoopid no-closets Brooklyn brownstones!)

Anyway, I'm more than willing to make room in my wardrobe and heart for some wider-legged jeans, though I draw the line at Kate Moss '70-style jeans so wide that if you sewed up the legs and cut them apart down the middle, there'd still be so much fabric that I'd look like a denim-clad Hassidic mermaid.

Sophisticated trouser-style jeans in a nice dark shade is where it's at.

Which is why I love these Flying Monkey jeans:

($51, Flying Monkey, Lulus)

These are a great winter-spring transitional jean, they look great with a wider heel, and hello, they're like $50 bucks!

Not-So-Cheap Monday

I had no idea that Cheap Monday has so much non-jeans stuff! It seems like here in the U.S. and/or/Of A. we mainly just get jeans. Unfortunately, most of the awesome accessories and stuff are on Swedish site Caliroots (a misnomer if ever there was one), which is actually quite cheap due to the krona-to-USD exchange rate AND Cheap Monday's rad mission to keep their stuff, well, cheap... But... the freaking VAT and shipping is OFF. THE. CHARTS.

Some of the super-cute stuff I wanted:

($14, Cheap Monday, Caliroots.com)

Awesome. Was gonna get one for my sister, who's obsessed with giant squids (this is an octopus, but who's counting?) and one for myself.

($7, Cheap Monday, Caliroots.com)

Seven bucks! What the hull?

I excitedly added two of scarf #1 and some cute $7 skull socks to my cart. The total came to $39 USD. But with $55 shipping (!!!!?!!??!?!?), VAT, and God knows what the fuck else -- tax on being awesome or something? -- the total came to $85 USD. Um, nah brah.


I'll stick with this cute Easter egg-colored scarf instead:

($23, Cheap Monday, Activeendeavors.com)

And here's some horrifying Cheap Monday stuff that, even though I've never worn nor owned, causes me to shudder with morning-after regret:

($28 USD, Cheap Monday, Caliroots.com)

"Kids, when I say 4:30 outside of the Orange Julius, I MEAN 4:30 and not a minute later."

($135, Cheap Monday, ActiveEndeavors.com)

"And after I finished going down on that Guns N Roses roadie, he told me I was pretty! He's so dreamy!" WTF? And why are these NOT $65?

($28, Cheap Monday, Caliroots.com)

"And after that skanky groupie was done giving me head, I told her she was hot. Can you believe that shit?"

($28, Cheap Monday, Caliroots.com)

"OMG. I can't believe Gerard Way looked sort of somewhere near me but almost at me from the stage! OMG! Best My Chem show EVER!"

Five Fashionable Wide-Legged Jeans

K, y'all. Five cuters wide-legged/ trouser cut/ slouchy jeans, for fall, kay y'all? Y'all ready, y'all?

($122, J & Company, DJPremium.com)

They're a little low, but I like the tight-in-the-butt, slightly-flared-but-not-too-much-so trouser cut.

($198, Sass & Bide, RevolveClothing.com)

So, these are technically more bootcut, but they're still a cute dressy-jean staple, though WAY too short for these heels.

($220, William Rast, DJPremium.com)

Much as I LOATHE Justin Trousersnake (Ugh! That smarmy shit-eating grin he's always wearing!), I do really like William Rast jeans, despite myself. Though I will say, I do have a pair that only fit like, when I wore them in the dressing room and never stretched and I can barely squeeze into them. Bew. I take back what I said.

($198, Hudson, WinkNYC.com)

These look so deliciously comfy!! Perfect for slooooouuuuuccchy, chill weekend wear, with flats, 'natch.

($34.50, Paris Blues, Alloy.com)

I posted these a few weeks back, and I bought 'em, and GUESS WHAT -- they're fucking ADORABLE. They're a little darker than they appear here. Anyway, they're so comfy and cute. They're still at the tailor though getting taken up because, of course, they're too long, but for $34, who cares? The verdict: TOTES RECOMMENDED!



.... psst:
PS:

($90, Sass & Bide, DJPremium.com)

Um, I really like Sass & Bide, but these are just awful and totally remind me of the type of jeans John Goodman wore as TV's Dan Connor on "Roseanne." And what girl wants to wear jeans (especially designer ones) that elicit such horbs associations? Terrible.

More Things For To Buy

K, here's some stuff I want, all of it, of course, random:

($328, Juicy Couture, Saks Fifth Avenue)
So demure, yet it's also got a great Alice In Wonderland-meets-Betsey Johnson vibe.

($325, See By Chloe, Frankeys.com)

Do I love these, OR, are they too Bonnaroo circa 2003? They might be a wee bit TOO Joss Stone. Though they could look great with a fitted, tucked-in black long-sleeved shirt and MAYBE these shoes:

($66, Asos.com)
These would also look ruling with some black tights, paired with these...





($88, French Connection, Asos.com)
PERRRRfecto bag for fall, y'all!



($43, Argento Vivo, Bluefly)
Muy elegante, but the length makes 'em sorta not-boring, which is good.



($6, OPI, Goddess-within.com)

This season, I am DETERMINED to figure out how to wear midnight dark nail polishes without looking like the pop-goth chick from Evanesence. That it is all.

Shoppin' For Jovovich-Hawk

A few choice pieces from Jovovich-Hawk.

($193, Jovovich-Hawk, Shopbop)
I'm not hugely into wide-leg jeans (... yet... ), but these are downright adorable.


($375, Jovovich-Hawk, Net-a-porter.com)
Gorgeous '60s wallpaper look!


($483, Jovovich-Hawk, Net-a-porter.com)
Beautiful, but it also sorta, a teensy weensy bit looks like something you could find at H&M, you know? (No offense.) But if you really want it, Blaec.com has it for $460.



($285, Boutique.Jovovich-Hawk.com)
This is prolly my fave of all the items I've encountered online -- and why are there so few items available in general???

Anyway, peace.

Top Shopgasm!

Oh bloody hell. Topshop.com just launched its Archive online -- amazing one-of-a-kind vintage pieces. The best ones, according to me:


(Apprx $507 USD, Lee Bender, TopShop.com)
Amazing and gorgeous print.


($365, Lee Bender for Bus Stop, Topshop.com)
Also amazing, but more akin to something you might find in your local (read: NOT NYC) thrift store.


(Approx $507 USD, Lee Bender, Topshop.com)
Good luck finding this outstanding (yet offensive! -- bonus!) dress at your local thrift store.

More vintage-lookin' dresses:
($240, Castle Starr, YLLI)
Stunning. Want.

($407, Robert Rodriguez, Nordstrom)

This has a gorgeous 1960s, June Carter Cash feel to it.


($193, Cindy Lee, RevolveClothing.com)
Also a great '60s-vibe.


($109, What Comes Around Goes Around, YLLI)
I. Have. No. Words...


($184, Tibi, Net-a-Porter)
I hollaed at this dress last week...


($24.50, Wet Seal)
... And Wet Seal hollaed back! Sweeet!


Finally...
($20, Cheap Monday, Mick Margo via Refinery29)
Um, hi. Cheap Monday jeans for $20! More like Cheap Thursday! I'm off to get a pair!

... AND We're Back!

...Okay. The hiatus ends NOW!

First, "feast" (and I mean feast in the way that maggots feast on the eyeballs of a corpse) your eyes on Brooke Hogan's AMAZING "outfit" from a recent concert:

THE FRONT!


We wouldn't leave you hanging with a shot of the BACK!...


Mmmm! B.Ho, in the words of Amy Winehouse, NO NO NO! She actually managed to make Britney Spears look like a fucking NUN right here. Also, can you even IMAGINE the outfits she REJECTED before deciding upon THIS one? I mean, usually, you pick the BEST outfit when given a choice of many, right? And, dudes, this was THE BEST! Amazing.
(Photos graciously borrowed from Ohnotheydidnt. Thanks, FB Chicago correspondent JP for the tip!)

Now, on to the stuff that isn't an affront to God:

Once again, stuff I want!

TOPS N TUNICS:

($270, Spring & Clifton, Activeendeavors.com)
Spring & Clifton, please launch your site AND have a sample sale NOWish! K?



($98, Spring & Clifton, Shopbop.com)
Another cute one.



($44, BCBG Girls, Overstock)
Sooo nicety nice for summer drinks ontop of the Met. If you're into that.



($42, BCBG, Overstock)
Also extremely cute.



($22, Piano and Guiness, Etsy.com)
Very cute and comfy-lookin'. And I love that it's called "Choose your own cleavage."



($55, She-Bible, Shebible.com)
Handmade + grass green PLUS modal cotton = mmmm.



($16, Weavers, Overstock)
Totes not TOO Denise Huxtable boho. Yay!



($32, Sir Alistar Rai)
Tee hee. He's cute! (Plus, YAY universal health care!... as opposed to not, right?)



($57, Steven Alan, eBay)
I'm still feeling pouty about that Steven Alan dress I can't afford. Wah. This chick is selling a few of these shirt dresses. Totes great price, but not justifiable right not. Unless, you know, she wants to donate it to a good cause: ME!


DRESSES

(Apprx $123 USD, Paul & Joe Sister, Laredoute.co.uk)
Why is LaRedoute SO much better in the UK???



(Apprx $53 USD, Sophie Tonarelli, Laredoute.co.uk)
Again, more cuteness!



(96, Motel, Asos.com)
Not LOVING the criss-cross straps, but love the print!



($25, Asos.com)
Great dress, great price. However, wearing chiffon in the summer is as smart as locking a starving wolf in a small cage with a baby rabbit. But still, buy now, wear later, I say!


JEANS

($76, Yanuk, Overstock)
I always heart Yanuks. And I refuse to buy into the sailor pants high-waisted dungaree nonsense. (Please remember: Kate Moss doesn't always make the BEST choices.)



($39, Delias)
Simple, sweet, cheap.


SHOES

($49, Oh Deer!, Overstock)
The zebra ones are totes cheesetastic and slutty, but I wuv.


JEWELRY


($228, Boudoir By Disaya, My-wardrobe.com)
Rabbits are the new giraffes!



(Apprx $254, Butler & Wilson)
I covet thee.


Finally, here's something horbs:

($12, Payless)
We here at Fashion Binge are here to provide you with a service. And that service includes seeking out the High School Musical handbag for all of your High School Musical-carrying needs.

Byee!