Deal of the Day! $149 Frye Boots at Victoria's Secret

($149, Frye, Victoria's Secret)

Well well well! WHO knew (not me, for one!) that Victoria's Secret had stocked up on Frye boots? Me likey! I'm not totes sure if I'm the girl who can do that boho-chick-in-shit-kickers motorcycle boots, like say, Sienna Miller or Lindsay Lohan or Scarlett Johansson -- who may or may not be engaged, by the way -- but if I were, I'd certainly give these a shot. I love them way more in brown than in black, even though black would make some sorta sense since Doc Martens may or may not be back in! (!!!) I'm personally hoping for "not."


Frye boots I like even more but are not on sale:

($248, Frye, Shopbop.com)

I know they're a little Posh-Spice-Plays-Polo, but I love 'em regardless.

JAMIE LYNN SPEARS PREGNANT! (Plus, Some Cute Leather Booties)

(Photo via TMZ.com)

HOLY FUCKING FEDERLINE! Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant. (Story at TMZ.com). You know, I step into the grocery store for a few Tuesday night needs, I walk out, and the last bastion of Spears family hope has a mini bun in the oven. (And please note, I already know I'm going to hell, so to ensure that I get there safely, I'm gonna continue blogging about a 16-year-old's illegitimate pregnancy.)

Okay, so seriously... WHAT THE FUCK? Are condoms not available in other parts of the country? And it's funny, right now I'm reading "Middlesex" by Jeffrey Eugenides, and I JUST read the part about how sometimes the English language isn't powerful enough to contain emotion or sentiment. Um, HELLO! TRUER! THAN! EVER! Because is there even a word for levels of schadenfreude this fucking epic? If not, someone ought to invent one.

Also, do you think this was like... some kind of intentional attack by the Winehouse Fielder-Civil camp to deflect attention away from Amy's arrest? Do you think they're even capable of plotting, let alone standing up straight?

Ok. I'm off to enjoy the inevitable media feeding frenzy.


Oh yeah, these boots are hot:

($69, Spiegel.com)

'Tis The Season For Fugs Footwear: The Holiday Edition

Truthfully, the only thing these shoes have to do with the holidays is that it's the middle of the December. Now that I've cleared that up, let's get to it:

($164, Glory Chen, Endless.com)

You don't even need to have seen the inside of this person's home to know that it's decorated in that depressing pastel "Southwestern" Stucco style.

($50, Schuh)

How can just one pair of cheap shoes say so much about unfulfilled expectations?

($470, Bernard Wilhelm, Shopfatal.com)

Remember the '80s? Yeah? Me too. Some things are best left there.

($198, Free People)

Aye caballero. No mas, por favor!


(Apprx $152, Topshop)

Perhaps these "Gladiator" boots were named after the movie, which would explain why they suck so epically.

($109, Type Z, Zappos)

Can whoever took Apollonia's purple suede "shoobies" without asking please return them? She's getting pissed.

($2,350, Christian Louboutin, Net-a-porter.com)

FINALLY! A boot that lets me pay tribute to both "Hellraiser" and "Blade Runner" at the same time.

($78, Naughty Monkey, Zappos)

Sometimes, "knowing when to say when" applies to the Bedazzler too.

Cute Boots!

More boots, please! I'll take one of each, size 8, please!

($659, Chloe, Yoox.com)

These cream Chloe boots only come in a size 6, but they're so hot I'd practically consider foot binding to squeeze into them. Foot binding's the new "going green," y'all!

($248, Free People)

Love these Free People foldover boots -- the wooden heel keeps them from looking like a vintage classic and not overly "L Train" nuevo-mod.

(Apprx $175 USD, Topshop)

Elegantly tough, but not overly "Hey, look, I'm trying to look like I drive a motorcycle"-ish.

(Apprx $154 USD, Topshop)

Purple, but not obnoxiously so.

($27, Lulusfashionlounge.com)

I know I'm like 15 years too old to wear these, but they're still so freaking cuters!


Okay! The Chanukkah fairy cometh, and I'm off to see what s/he has brungeth! Chappy Chanx, y'all!

Single Serving Binge

Free shipping on boots till Sunday at Urban Outfitters, y'all!



I'm totally gonna get the On High hidden platform boot, because it's only $78 and I'm still rocking a pair of Urban boots I bought several years ago, so I'm pretty sure they'll last. Rock!

Marc Jacobs Hast Lost His Skinny Little Mind

I know he's had himself some trouble with the white stuff, but did the party powder leave him with Swiss cheese brain? Observe:


($995, Marc Jacobs, Barneys)
These are the best of the worst. Still, there is no instance imaginable that would make these acceptable.



($398, Marc By Marc Jacobs, Zappos Couture)
I give it a month before Jessica Simpson's photographed walking out of The Ivy in these. (Note: that does NOT make them right!)



($385, Marc By Marc Jacobs, Shopbop.com)
Or in these.


($185, Marc By Marc Jacobs, Bergorf Goodman)
Dude. Seriously. Come on. Seriously? Dude! This is some Payless shit!


($228, Marc By Marc Jacobs, eLuxury)
Honestly??


($873, Marc By Marc Jacobs, Zappos Couture)
Sigh. Real bad news. Where to even begin? These look like something I would've seen in like 1988 at like, Wild Pair at the mall and BEGGED my mom to get me so I could wear 'em do the Roger Rabbit in 'em at the middle school mixer. At least that memory isn't even real -- it's just a figment of a made-up memory and not a real one, unlike the actual memories of those who currently own these and will wear them and then sadly look back one day, 17 years from now, in horror. Regret's a bitch!


At least I would not regret owning this:
($1,650, Marc Jacobs, eLuxury.com)

Awful Vs. Awesome

UPDATE: Eff you, Blogger! Apparently the confucked tool ate some of the pix in this post. So I've reposted them. Thanks go out to ad hoc QA committee JnLRswk, who alerted me to the full-on morts and claims that Fashionbinge "is like a free Lucky Mag but funny." Awww!

And now, it's time for another edition of Awful Vs. Awesome (tm), the game where point out something awful and follow it up with something totally awesome.

First Awful:
($793, Marc By Marc Jacobs, Zappos Couture)
I've already started seeing these EVERYWHERE. They're so shitty. Like a paper bag cinched around the top of an otherwise perfectly acceptable boot. Marc, we already know you're a ground breaker. Please don't try to reinvent the wheel. Or the boot as the case may be.



AWESOME:
($495, Belle By Sigerson Morrison, Plazatoo.com)
Thank you, Belle, for this gorgeous, graceful, unmolested boot.


AWFUL:
($129, Vince Camuto, Nordstrom)
Waste of toe space.



AWESOME:
($197, Michael Kors, Nordstrom)
What would Prince do? Buy these. And that man's funk is always on point.



AWFUL:
($160, Michael Kors, Plazatoo.com)
Funky if you wear Lee Mom Jeans.



AWESOME:
($16, Forever 21)
Simple, silver, sold!


AWFUL:


($69, Jeffrey Campbell, Solestruck.com)
See what I mean about the Irregular Choice-esqueness of Jeffrey Campbell? These look like someone desecrated the Japanese flag. He giveth with one hand and taketh with the other.


AWESOME:
($49, Very Volatile, Lulusfashionlounge.com)
Cone head = bad. Cone heel = very good.

Also, enter promo code SEVENTEENROCKS for 20% off. Woo!



AWFUL:
($450, Isabella Fiore, eLuxury)
Nothing says "gauche" like teetering atop 4.5" inches of embroidered peacock and patent leather!


AWESOME:
($150, Salvador Sapena, Asos.com)
Perfect in every way.


AWFUL:
($698, Etro, Zappos Couture)
PUTRID in every way!


AWESOME:
($245, Juicy Couture, Plazatoo.com)
These are very sweet in a holiday-spirit, trimming-the-tree sorta way (even though I'm Jewish, so they're sweet in what I'd image in a trimming-the-tree sorta way.) I also love that these are nearly the exact same shoe but for way way less:
($23, Classified, Lulusfashionlounge.com)
Hooray 4 knockoffs!



AWFUL:
($250, Marc By Marc Jacobs, Plazatoo.com)
Hurl.


AWESOME:
($20, Target)
Very cute, no creepy Bedazzled embellishments.


SUPER AWFUL:

($67, Era Of Chaos, LF Stores)
Seriously... what the FUCK is going on here? Not only do these look like an imitation of those Imitation of Christ jeans they sewed Scarlett Johansson into at their runway show back in ought-5, but they look so uncomfortable that if you sat in them at work all day, you'd have potentially sterlized yourself by COB.


AWESOME:
($89, Banana Republic)
Even I am mortified that I'm into something from Banana Republic, but these are really really cute. Via Stylebakery's Fall Jeans Guide.



AWFUL:
($102, LF Stores)
Um, did we learn NOTHING from Jennifer Hudson's Oscar-on-Oscar shrug fiasco???



AWESOME:
($274, Mint, Pinkmascara.com)
Yes, you actually CAN wear metallics without looking like a member of Daft Punk.



AWFUL:
($48, What Comes Around Goes Around, Activeendeavors.com)
Duuuude. Dude. Duuuuuuude. This reminds me of what the grandparents sleep in in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." Worst.


AWESOME:
($62, Soundgirl, Fredflare.com)
Yes, you can wear a striped dress without looking like you're wearing a mumu. I, for one, will be wearing this dress shortly, as I just bought it! Weee!

Say goodbye, Jennifer!