'Tis The Season For Fugs Footwear: The Holiday Edition

Truthfully, the only thing these shoes have to do with the holidays is that it's the middle of the December. Now that I've cleared that up, let's get to it:

($164, Glory Chen, Endless.com)

You don't even need to have seen the inside of this person's home to know that it's decorated in that depressing pastel "Southwestern" Stucco style.

($50, Schuh)

How can just one pair of cheap shoes say so much about unfulfilled expectations?

($470, Bernard Wilhelm, Shopfatal.com)

Remember the '80s? Yeah? Me too. Some things are best left there.

($198, Free People)

Aye caballero. No mas, por favor!


(Apprx $152, Topshop)

Perhaps these "Gladiator" boots were named after the movie, which would explain why they suck so epically.

($109, Type Z, Zappos)

Can whoever took Apollonia's purple suede "shoobies" without asking please return them? She's getting pissed.

($2,350, Christian Louboutin, Net-a-porter.com)

FINALLY! A boot that lets me pay tribute to both "Hellraiser" and "Blade Runner" at the same time.

($78, Naughty Monkey, Zappos)

Sometimes, "knowing when to say when" applies to the Bedazzler too.

Cute Boots!

More boots, please! I'll take one of each, size 8, please!

($659, Chloe, Yoox.com)

These cream Chloe boots only come in a size 6, but they're so hot I'd practically consider foot binding to squeeze into them. Foot binding's the new "going green," y'all!

($248, Free People)

Love these Free People foldover boots -- the wooden heel keeps them from looking like a vintage classic and not overly "L Train" nuevo-mod.

(Apprx $175 USD, Topshop)

Elegantly tough, but not overly "Hey, look, I'm trying to look like I drive a motorcycle"-ish.

(Apprx $154 USD, Topshop)

Purple, but not obnoxiously so.

($27, Lulusfashionlounge.com)

I know I'm like 15 years too old to wear these, but they're still so freaking cuters!


Okay! The Chanukkah fairy cometh, and I'm off to see what s/he has brungeth! Chappy Chanx, y'all!